Home Heart and Hands: Emotional Decisions

You know what I just realized today? My name is Anna and I have a problem always making emotional decisions. You guys be my AA (or NA or OA, etc) for a sec, okay? Should we call it EDMA (emotional decision making anonymous)? I started my day out today rather bummed out...for no particular reason. That happens to me often enough. Not often enough that I would say that I have a problem with depression, but often enough to bug me. I just sulked through the first part of my day, deciding not to do things because I didn't feel like it....or I will only do the things I do feel like. Like, oh....the dishes need to be done, or I need to finish this project (ahem fireplace), or whathaveyou. Instead, I spend the whole time immersed in the one project or occupation that I suddenly feel an interest in. Today, I spent way too long on the computer researching ways to grow your blog and connecting with people on facebook and all of this online stuff that I've found can make your entire day vanish in an instant. Or right now....I had this thought and suddenly I'm whisked away to my computer writing a blog post instead of folding the laundry and making my boys do their chores. I have a problem.

I said a silent prayer on the way to taking my girl to preschool this morning for strength to do it all, the ability to keep up with all of the things I take on and do each thing all of the way, diligently, enduring to the end. It's so hard keeping all of the plates spinning, ya know. After that prayer, I came to the realization that my issue lies with the choices I make in each small moment. I mean really, what is life? It's a series of choices. My problem is that my choices are almost always based on how I feel in the moment. Fantastic if I'm in this amazing mood....but not too fantastic if I'm bummed out....and we all get bummed out. Whether I go to the gym, whether I keep my house clean, whether I spend money on something frivolous (uh, restaurant food) Don't even get me started on food....diet totally falls in this category as well. I went off my eating plan (that I talked about here) and I've been trying for two weeks to get back to it. I get halfway through the day eating right and then bail when it comes to dinner and snacking after the kids go to bed....and when I say bail....I mean binge. Eating bad food is fun and it makes me happy....emotional decision. I point my focus toward one thing, one day....get way into to it (usually go way overboard) and then drop it for something else the next day. I have the hardest dang time with consistency. My poor kids, they never know what to expect....I don't think I could surprise them anymore. If my choices in any given moment were listed out in priority order, I'm telling you, unless it has to do with an imminent need of my child, husband or a friend, I'm most likely going to choose something other than the first priority.

Ok....so, yes....I have this problem, finally was able to put my finger on what exactly makes me this way! whooo, for self discovery. Now how to I go about fixing it?

Thursday, May 1, 2014

Emotional Decisions

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